Mini-K Ranch : Goats

Goat Clan Stork Crash Lands at Mini-K

JFrum — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:43:00 GMT

Mini-K Ranch Underwood, Ia

Goatie Clan File Photo

Authorities confirmed today around 2 AM CST that a small craft has crashed landed in the area of the barn at Mini-K in Underwood Iowa. Storkian Airlines Flight 201 disappeared from radar about that same time confirmed an un-identified airline spokeperson.

Mini-K ranch officials would not comment on the landing except to say two survivors, Ernie (left) and Emma (right) were found in the area of the nursery. One local goat clanswoman has been reported as being quite a bit smaller after the landing but not too happy with the aftermath of the incident.

This is not the first time Storkian has landed in the area of Mini-K. Earlier this year flight 101 landed in the same area which left the ranch with a new horsie clan member, Penny. Penny has made her home at Mini-K and is, up until this point, the main attaction at the ranch. Mini-K has sold out every show since the landing denied one farmer looking guy in overalls wielding a flowered checkbook.

Mini-K Ranch officials were not immediately available for comment on this incident except to say "it's bottle feeding time". Stay tuned as details will be made available as they unfold. Goat clan photos can be viewed HERE.

Business as Usual Despite Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls Attempt to Bring Back Winter

JFrum — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 12:09:00 GMT

Mini-K Ranch Underwood, Iowa

Tuesday night temperatures plumited to the mid twenties. The horsie clan is already pointing hooves at the Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls citing early removal of tank heaters. "The heaters are our insurance policy and having them in place protects us from cold weather" one clam member stated. This cold spell comes after a 30 day period with temps reaching up into the 80s at some points. "This spell won't let up until the tank heaters go back in either". Still it's business as usual around the ranch. The horsie clan still patrols the lower pasture and the barn area and the goat clan still stands around saying "Hey" all the time. The chicken clan is also busy decorating the barnyard area for Halloween. The Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls refused comment except to say "What the Hell" about 16 times.

The horsie clan has offered speculation that the cold spell was brought on due to the recent gate incident. No further comment was offered by the clan but authorities fear the horsie clan has a set of gate keys which allows them free access into unauthorized areas of the ranch. On multiple incidents, the horsie clan has been spotted having on site meetings in the lower barn yard area when they were supposed to be in isolated barn yards. The Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls was last seen replacing the gate locks and adding new barn doors in the area of the barn yard area.

No further information was available and authorities can only speculate if the locks were paid for using flowered checks. The cold spell has no scheduled end date and there has been no word on what the chicken clan will be for Halloween.

Mini-K To Expand Quarters

JFrum — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:18:00 GMT

Underwood, Ia

Last week officials learned of a building expansion at the Mini-K Ranch in Underwood Iowa. The ranch currently has an egg production facility in the building but egg production has fallen sharply in the last few months. Officials from the NIAS Egg Consumption Company out of Omaha, Nebraska have confirmed that production has fallen slightly from 100% to somewhere in the area of 0%.

Mini-K Ranch officials, including the Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls, were not available for comment on the exact use of the new edition but members from the goat clan have freely revealed that the chickens were working on a new "Chickens Gone Wild" video. The chicken clan would not confirm or deny this claim and were unavailable for further comment stating the Chicken Privacy Act. No details have ever been found on the CPA, however last year the Mini-K Ranch added the "Little Duece Coop" to it's resources of egg production. Still, egg production has never increased since purchasing the new edition.

There is no word on the relationship to the egg production decline and the effectiveness of the hens in hiding the eggs from the Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls. Mini-K Ranch officials have repeatively suggested that production is down due to the cold weather but based on recent events there could be other explanations. About 13 months ago the hens of Mini-K were all put into lockdown after being convicted of Laying with Intent to Hide. They were placed into lockdown to "correct" the issue. There is no indication that the corrective actions taken by the Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls is a temporary or a permanent one. The Goat Clan has refused to comment.

Mini-K Officials have indeed revealed that a purchase of an unspecified amount was completed in recent weeks for "camera equipment" from an out of state vendor. No more details were revealed but as the new edition nears completion, the chicken clan has still not increased egg production. There's also no word to determine if the camera equipment was purchased with flowered checks. Authorities have also confirmed that Mini-K Ranch officials are not releasing any photos of the new edition although they do admit to having them. No further information is available at this time.

Billy Goat Sighted As Snow Melts On Mini-K

JFrum — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 19:03:00 GMT

Underwood Iowa

As the snow finally started melting around the Mini-K Ranch near Underwood Iowa, authorities discovered what appears to be a billy goat named Dozer who has been missing for no amount of time. The small resourceful critter was found in another pen with the other girls sometime after 5:30 PM. The Farmer Look Guy in Overalls would not comment but had a very puzzled look on his face as he attempted to convince the small but resistant goat to return to his pen. Apparently the grass, which was under about 4 inches of frozen snow, was a little greener on the other side of the fence so Dozer decided he'd just jump it. The Farmer Looking Guy in Overalls was last seen building taller fences in the area of Dozers Pen. Mini-K Ranch Officials would not comment on any rumors about little baby goat hut editions or the rooster who is walking a little "funny".

Henny Penny Moved Into Protective Custody

JFrum — Sun, 16 Jul 2006 13:47:00 GMT

Henny Penny with 13 chics File Photo now 12, now 11 chics

Mini-K Ranch Underwood Iowa

Friday authorities from Mini-K Ranch in Underwood Iowa confirmed that Henny Penny and her chics have been moved into protective custody but would not comment on exactly where. A member from the nearby goat clan branch indicated that the location was being kept top secret.

Nobody really knows why Henny Penny was moved but speculate it had something to do with the dwindling chic count. The original count of 13 was last reported somewhere around 6. The reason for the short count was not clear.

The CCMK was not available for comment and authorities would not offer any comment on any involvement with the CCMK. They CCMK is currently under investigation for the "Chic in the water bowl" incident earlier this month. "That investigation is still on-going" one Mini-K Ranch Resident proclaimed about 800 times.

The farmer looking guy in overalls would not comment on the whereabouts of the Henny Penny Family only saying "What Chics? What the hell?". No further information is availble at this time.

Donkeys Stay in West Hut at Mini-K

JFrum — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 13:38:00 GMT

Mini-K Underwood

Mini-K Goat Clan File Photo

Monday officials from the Goat Clan, "the Goaties", confirmed that the donkeys stayed in the West Hut for the very first time. Authorities can not explain why the donkeys choose to stay in the West Hut as they usually prefer the East Hut. "The East Hut is far more Eastern than the Western West Hut" remarked an unidentified official from the Goat Clan. The East Hut also gets a far better satellite connection. "The West Hut did recently receive a good cleaning by the farmer looking guy in overalls and the mama K lady" added the goat clan member. The donkey clan was not available for comment and offered no statement at this time.

In an unrelated incident egg harvesting production is at an all time high this week as production sky rocketed by 800%. The farmer looking guy in overalls manager reported the findings late last weekend. "She was very excited and hardly broke any of the eggs when she found them" chanted the unidentified goat clan official.

Authorities will spend a great deal of time trying to determine if the egg production increase is related to the donkeys choice in accommodations, the flowered check investigation, the newly acquired duce coop or cheesy Super Bowl Commercials. No further information was available.