Mini-K Ranch

Farmer Looking Guy in OverAlls Narrowly Escapes Being Shot

Omaha, Ne

Officials have confirmed that on Wednesday an Underwood area man had narrowly escaped being shot from behind.  The very suspecting man who was officially identified as the farmer looking guy in overalls from Underwood Iowa was in an area of town where he normally wouldn't travel.  Officials would not confirm if the man was using flowered checks while in the area.  A short time after escaping the shooting the un-phased man was found eating a two piece chicken nugget dinner at an area Long John Silvers.  The farmer looking guy lives at the Mini-K Ranch in underwood Iowa.

A member from the horsie clan of the Mini-K Ranch who asked to remain anonymous stated the man was not paying attention and had wandered into some poison ivy only 4 days ago.  The clan member would not confirm if the farmer looking guy in overalls was wearing his overalls during the mishap.  The horsie clan member also confirmed seeing the farmer looking guy usually in overalls applying pink cream to his leg on a regular basis.  The pink legged farmer looking guy usually in overalls was not available for comment and did not return our calls. 

Henny Penny Moved Into Protective Custody

Henny Penny with 13 chics File Photo now 12, now 11 chics

Mini-K Ranch Underwood Iowa

Friday authorities from Mini-K Ranch in Underwood Iowa confirmed that Henny Penny and her chics have been moved into protective custody but would not comment on exactly where.  A member from the nearby goat clan branch indicated that the location was being kept top secret.

Nobody really knows why Henny Penny was moved but speculate it had something to do with the dwindling chic count.  The original count of 13 was last reported somewhere around 6.  The reason for the short count was not clear. 

The CCMK was not available for comment and authorities would not offer any comment on any involvement with the CCMK.  They CCMK is currently under investigation for the "Chic in the water bowl" incident earlier this month.  "That investigation is still on-going" one Mini-K Ranch Resident proclaimed about 800 times. 

The farmer looking guy in overalls would not comment on the whereabouts of the Henny Penny Family only saying "What Chics?  What the hell?".  No further information is availble at this time.

Mini-K Cat Clan Founded

Famous HDZ Bird Clan File Photo

Henry Doorly Zoo Omaha, Ne

On Tuesday a local area man met up with the lethal bird clan gang of HDZ.  The HDZ Gang's most common tactic is to lure unsuspecting visitors into the designated drop zone and then tie their shoe strings together.  In many cases clan members have been known to distract their victims by landing on their shoulders, head and/or hands.  Once on the ground all clan members scoop up any loose change and use that to purchase the $1 popcicle sticks with bird food stuck on them.

A local bird clansfeather was quoted as saying "we find these reports both unfounded and full of white splotches".  "There is simply no evidence to support this nor do we have any convictions that you know about yet.". 

Still, authorities are not confirming reports of any ongoing investigations regarding these complaints.  That doesn't mean an investigation isn't on going.  They did confirm though the slightly over priced bird food sticks can not be purchased with flowered checks. 

Mini-K Underwood File Photo Services Protection Clan of shoe inspection

Only a few miles away at the Mini-K Ranch in Underwood, Iowa the newly founded Cat Clan of Mini-K has begun offering protection services.  "The HDZ Bird Gang is our specialty" offered one spokesperson from the gang.  The CCMK was formed just this Spring and two members are nearly completed with their training. 

CCMK already offers protection for the small chics and has lowered the rodent population by around 312% in the barnyard area.  "We offer up close and personal inspections for the HDZ gang" boasted the other CCMK member (who requested to remain anonymous). 

At this time the official pricing scale has not been set but is speculated to be around 1 can of food per catch plus the catch itself.  There has also been talk of perks along the line of 10 minute belly rubs and collar free Fridays.  The Mini-K Ranch Boss was not available for comment regarding any contracts for off site work. 

Officials would also not comment on the recent death of one of Henny Pennys chics which was found dead in a water bowl.  "There is simply no connection to the CCMK at this time" offered one un-named official, "although the investigation is still on-going and we are treating this as an accident at this time.  It would appear that the young chic went for a drink and never came up for air.  Although baby chics have brains more complex than most politicians, it may not have been enough to save the young fella."