Mini-K Ranch

NECC Reports Over Sized Egg

Omaha, Ne

Officials confirmed Monday that an extra large egg was found in the last shipment from Mini-K of Underwood.  "The egg was so large that it completely filled up the pan in the toaster" officials from NECC reported.  The egg was said to of weighed in somewhere under 2 pounds.  Authorities speculate the egg was not harvested by the farmer looking guys in overalls.  "There's just no way the farmer guy in overalls could of handled an egg of this size without wearing it" an anonymous NECC official added.  Still the chicken clan is not commenting on where the egg came from. 

As for the source of the egg, officials are watching out for extra large chickens in the area of Mini-K.  NECC contracts with Mini-K for egg consumption purposes and is the industry leader in egg consumption.  "We can handle the egg no problem" boasted an official from NECC.  Officials from Mini-K also confirm that very recently a stork was spotted in the area and has made deliveries. 

A spokesperson from Stork Avaiation has confirmed that a delivery was scheduled but the flight plan was not intended for the area of the ranch which lies outside of Underwood.  The stork scheduled a return flight almost 10 pounds lighter.  The stork was not available for comment and was on his way to Austin to talk to the dean of a school in the area.  No further information is available at this time.

Donkeys Stay in West Hut at Mini-K

Mini-K Underwood

Mini-K Goat Clan File Photo

Monday officials from the Goat Clan, "the Goaties", confirmed that the donkeys stayed in the West Hut for the very first time.  Authorities can not explain why the donkeys choose to stay in the West Hut as they usually prefer the East Hut.  "The East Hut is far more Eastern than the Western West Hut" remarked an unidentified official from the Goat Clan.  The East Hut also gets a far better satellite connection.   "The West Hut did recently receive a good cleaning by the farmer looking guy in overalls and the mama K lady" added the goat clan member.  The donkey clan was not available for comment and offered no statement at this time.

In an unrelated incident egg harvesting production is at an all time high this week as production sky rocketed by 800%.  The farmer looking guy in overalls manager reported the findings late last weekend.   "She was very excited and hardly broke any of the eggs when she found them" chanted the unidentified goat clan official. 

Authorities will spend a great deal of time trying to determine if the egg production increase is related to the donkeys choice in accommodations, the flowered check investigation, the newly acquired duce coop or cheesy Super Bowl Commercials.  No further information was available.

New Chicken Coop Still Without Dish

Mini-K Underwood

Sunday officials confirmed that the newly acquired Duce Coop will continue to remain in the dark for satellite TV connections.  No exact reason for the decision was conveyed but analysts speculate it was related to a commercial lacking quality during the Sunday Super Bowl.  The un-named commercial which was aired repeatively, could cause damage to the chicked egg laying capacity. 

Nias Egg Consumption Company of Omaha has confirmed that supply from Mink-K (not MINK) was down 312% since signing with the company for consumption business.  NECC would not confirm or deny the information regarding bad Super Bowl Commercials or that the Duce Coop was paid for using a flowered check. 

There has also been speculation that egg production was down following a 8 day period in which the ranch was renamed to the Mini Crooked K Ranch after a 14 cent nut fell from the sign.  "I found the nut in the grass under the sign and have ordered repairs" confirmed the farmer looking guy in overalls.  The sign was not paid for using flowered checks. 

The sign incident followed another dry spell when the chickens internal GPS component fell from wack.  "The chickens are reset and are doing fine" officials from Mini Crooked K confirmed.  "The cheesy bits commerical just adds to the challenges of harvesting eggs" confirmed a spokesperson from the donkey clan.  The same official could not confirm if the cheesy was part of the product advertised or the commercial itself.  No other information was available.

posted by JFrum (Comments Off)